Building a Life

16001763803_85d71a224b_z“Begin to observe your life more and try to awaken the observer in you, the high self. Thinkers from Plato to Freud have talked about the three selves we have within us. I call them the high self, the conscious self, and the basic self. The conscious self is the personality; the basic self is the child. When the conscious self decides to go on a diet, the basic self eats chocolate cake. The high self is the god within us, the part that is eternal and divine. It is always there but we need to activate it…Listen to the slow, still voice we call intuition.”        Arianna Huffington

How do you build a life in recovery? Once you give up an addiction, nothing in your life is the same. There is an old saying in AA that you only have to change two things in recovery: quit drinking and change everything else about you.

One of the first building blocks in building a new life is learning how to make your mind your servant. Before we examine our thinking, we believe thoughts just come. But do they? Are you allowing your undisciplined ego to run the show dictating what you say and what you do?

As we shift our feelings and thoughts to positive from negative, we become aware of the power that we feel inside. We are becoming aware of our soul. The soul is bigger that just our mind. It includes our dreams, and our feelings as well as our thoughts.

The healing principle is that as we believe we will get better, we will get better. But choices have to be made. You can’t hold on to misery with one hand and reach for happiness with the other. As the trapeze artist lets go of one bar before she grasps the next one, so also must we give up misery for happiness.

Our self-image is formed by allowing ourselves to be influenced by various authority figures. As we mature and accept the responsibility of defining ourselves, these internalized voices of authority must each be examined and evaluated. It is only when we take back our own power to define ourselves that we are truly free.

Our conscious mind is where thoughts are formed. Our subconscious mind is where our creative mind takes root. As we learn to harness the vast power and energy of the subconscious mind, we are tapping into our real source.

Transactional analysis therapists estimate that we each have 25,000 hours of internalized negative self-talk. We are generally taught what is wrong with us by our authority figures at home, school, church, etc. In an effort to understand who we are, we accept these self-limiting labels as who we are.

However, we each individually are the only one who can truly “know” who we are, or, at least, we are in the best position to make the best educated guess. Learn to challenge the “voices” (one of my friends called them “the committee”) or negative self-talk you carry around in your head. Listen to what you tell yourself about you.

In learning to monitor your inner critic, learn to first determine if the criticism is helpful. If you find the suggestion to be helpful, next check to see if the inner critic is kind, gentle, and polite to you. If it is in a condemning voice, ask your inner critic to speak kinder to you.

The techniques you may use to change your inner critic from enemy to friend are: speed up the volume, mimic a falsetto voice, etc. My favorite ploy when I was learning this was to scream “Stop”. It is better to practice these techniques while alone. As someone has suggested—learn to join the airwaves until you own the station.

Self-esteem comes from how we evaluate and accept or reject input as well as the foundation we’ve created from the successes we’ve experienced. By learning to focus on our strengths rather than on our weaknesses, we have each taken charge of our own destiny.

After learning how to utilize our inner critic, we next need to take charge of our thoughts. What we choose to focus our thinking on determines what we will think and feel about ourselves. You are what you think you are. By substituting positive self-talk for negative self-talk, we are re-programming ourselves for positive action.

Our subconscious mind is estimated to be 90% of our total brain power. Yet many of us don’t know how to get our subconscious mind involved in getting our dreams changed to reality.

The subconscious can only create what we each create in our mind. Oftentimes, we express what we want in a wish and not as a command. By learning how to use the power of our subconscious mind, we can help make our dreams come true.

If you are allowing your conscious mind to run your life, you are using 10% of your resources. The conscious mind can best be used as the executor of your subconscious mind-the other 90% of your resources.

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