You are my gang–all you who take the time to read what I post. Thank you. On these random Sunday posts, I will go off topic to talk about the things I used to share on my personal Facebook news feed. Very disappointed in FB. Love my FB page, Emotional Sobriety, but FB continues to be an agent of harm for many people. All to get more money than any human could ever spend. Rant over.

Today’s topic is about what I am studying now. The question: Do we become attracted to Movie/TV characters because they are speaking to those parts of our personality that need healing?

I just finished Halt and Catch Fire. What an underappreciated TV series. Two TV channels that continue to pump out great material are FX and AMC. HACF was on AMC. I looked at it in 2017 and didn’t get hooked. It is now on Netflix and I couldn’t stop watching it.

My favorite character was Joe–the son of a pure narcissist. Watching the evolution of him and Cameron is a minor study into what addiction does to a person (Cam) and what narcissism does to a person (Joe).

I don’t believe we can understand something until we put judgment aside. My mother’s first reaction to everything was to blame. Low self esteem will do that to you. I miss her all the time. She was my greatest champion, I was so lucky . She always had my back. Unfortunately, I learned to never compete with her. I guess it was the price I had to pay. Children don’t make the rules. Adults do.

I was very disappointed in the “ending” of Joe. No disclosure here. I am trying to understand why I still feel connected to him. Lee Pace is an amazing actor but I am rarely drawn into a character. I am still emotionally attached after a week. This is a fictional character. I know that but I keep playing out why I am disappointed.

I think I am still attached because I know narcissists can heal. All who grew up in a troubled family chose one of the two–narcissist or codependent–as our emotional response to life. We both learned to use manipulation of others to feel better about ourselves. Society rewards codependency as “good” but it is still manipulation to avoid one’s own feelings and/or life.

Joe, the character, will stay with me for awhile until he teaches me what I need to learn. Thank goodness that I accept my feelings–even, and especially, those feelings I don’t understand. Joe is part of me now and I will continue to be changed by how we progress together.

Thanks for listening.