“When two codependents enter a relationship, they often overtly or covertly try to manipulate the partner to provide the love and approval needed to fill what John Bradshaw calls the “hole in the soul”. Both partners attach themselves to the other for a sense of completeness, a strategy that stunts personal growth and development. By surrendering responsibility for our happiness to other people, we create power struggles, arguments, and ultimately broken promises, expectations, and hearts. We can break out of the codependent trap….by working through the pain of our unmet childhood needs and by cultivating an inner life.” Ronald S. Miller
Good relationships don’t just happen. And they aren’t about finding the “right” person. Hasn’t anyone looking for the right person wondered why the person is only found where they are? The first major decision has to do with choosing a person who is a friend. These posts offer some other hints.