Checking Our Self Compassion for Clues to What Holds Us Back

From “Mining During a Pandemic“:

“For the past few years, I’ve focused on healing my relationship to money and of course the initial reason is never the reason. Money is a symptom of a self-love/care/esteem issues. It’s meant to flow – currency after all – and we experience problems individually and as a society when it doesn’t.

In the drill down, I expose what Julia Cameron might call a vein of gold. The rock formations of my protective mechanisms give way. The miner is a bit of wisdom that arrives from a friend: why other people do what they do is none of my business. At first I want to reject it, but these days I’m letting these things have a seat next to me. Quarantining will provide space for this if you let it.”

From “Robin Sharma: The importance of inner time“:

“Author of The 5am Club, Robin Sharma, tells us that tending to inner health is perhaps the most neglected aspect of modern living. And – for most caregivers – this is true. It feels like it just one more thing we need to do, and one more area in our lives that we are falling short.

In her book, I am Enough, therapist Marisa Peer tells us why caregivers are so terrible at self-care. Perhaps the biggest hurdle, she says, is that it is unfamiliar. The mind loves the familiar; which for some of us involves placing our needs last, working to the point of exhaustion, and (certainly not!) loving ourselves. These traits may be biological (part of our attachment adaptation) or environmental. Regardless, it’s time to make the unfamiliar, familiar! But how can we do this?

Sharma tells us we need to:

  • Change the mindset – put ourselves first (not last).
  • Change the heartset – turn from being fearful to fearless.
  • Create new rituals – that help our intellectual, emotional and spiritual life.”

From ‘Who are you becoming as you pursue your dream?/Self-Examination Checklist”:

ou know that dream you have of becoming a this or that or reaching here or there? What is pursuit of that goal producing in your character? It’s a gentle question with a light reminder that prolonged hunger can sometimes trigger things like irritability, frustration, despair, desperation and just plain stinky-personality syndrome.

I’m a fan of focus just like you and find procrastination a l’il annoying, even if I’m the one doing it. But – y’know something? We might impress people with our jam-packed schedules, blink-less stares, meticulous training marathons or blistered busted-up toes, but it’s really important to do a self-check to monitor or upgrade our state of mind and quality of life at intervals along the way.

How many times have you read about billionaires with poor values, heard about a high-profile someone who slowly or suddenly gave up on life, or watched a heartbreaking documentary of a famous musician who teeter-tottered between creative excellence and mental torment?

What happened to Whitney Houston woke me up in a big way – one of the most beautiful known voices on the entire map – gone…and like that.

Don’t ever doubt that your quality of life counts for something.

Where do you find yourself on the health and wellness scale when it comes to reaching for your dream? I often have to ask myself the same thing, since I have a tendency to dedicate every ounce of muscle and pour a massive amount of energy towards anything I’m working on or fixated with.

One comment

  1. Great post! And the more you avoid caring for yourself, the more you start to feel like you are failing on all fronts and then you become more and more fragmented. It’s hard to learn how to pull it back in and rejuvenate yourself first, but so worthwhile .

    Like

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