My self-discovery test, the Changemaker Test, is found on another of my blogs. Learning Your Labels. In my test, I have added what I found about the family roles. We actually choose 2 roles–what I call a “doing role” (how the world sees us) and a “being role” (the role we use when we get into emotional trouble). My roles are family hero/rescuer and scapegoat.
Family roles in dysfunctional families (which is all of us are part of at one time or another) were introduced by Sharon Wegscheider-Cruse in her book, The Family Trap.
Mascot and Lost Child are reprinted below.
Positive characteristics of the mascot:
Playful—joyful—active—charming—sense of humor—keeps the peace in the family—cute
Negative characteristics of mascot:
Immature—disruptive—short attention span—confused—feels crazy at times—accident prone—fragile—may have learning disabilities
Inner feelings of mascot:
Need to provide fun and humor as distractions for family—insecurity—anxiety
Major hidden feelings of mascot:
They are afraid that they will be judged “dumb”
Gift to the family:
To provide fun and humor as distraction from family’s problems
To outgrow need mascot role, he/she needs to learn:
To learn to accept responsibility
To not use humor to avoid conflict
To feel comfortable with feelings of sadness and/or grief
Techniques others may use to help the mascot to give up using this role exclusively:
Through validation that the ideas of the mascot are sound
To agree that the mascot is able to take care of self
To appreciate the mascot’s sense of humor
2. Lost Child-
Positive characteristics of the lost child:
Can work independently—good listener—good manual dexterity—hobbyist—resourceful—creative—good observer—well-read—imaginative—nonconformist—enjoys solitude
Negative characteristics of lost child:
Fears reality—indecisive—low self-esteem—feels invisible—sad—depressed—blames others—withdrawn—never a behavior problem
Inner feelings of lost child:
Major hidden feelings of lost child:
Gift to the family:
The lost child offers relief to the family as they are “forgotten” by family and are rarely a problem.
To outgrow need for lost child role, he/she needs to learn:
To reach out to others with his/her need
To make close relationships
Techniques others may use to help the lost child to give up using this role exclusively:
To help lost child to reach out and face his/her pain
To learn to experience intimacy and closeness with others
To reflect the creativity, talent, and imagination of the lost child
I would love to check out your test.