Learning to Love Yourself Means Learning How to Care For Yourself

“You can search throughout the entire universe for someone who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and that person is not to be found anywhere. You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.”         Sharon Salzberg

From “Self-Love is Not Selfish”:

“Self-love is about liking yourself first, no matter what and who you are, without the need for external validation from others. It’s about accepting yourself — flaws, imperfections, and all.

Self-love is about being happy with yourself, without the need for other people’s presence in your life. It doesn’t mean that other people’s presence won’t make you happy, because they DO make you happy. But their absence won’t make you feel alone or lonely at all, because you are already happy and contented with your own company.

Self-love is about self-improvement. It’s about appreciating your strengths and acknowledging your weaknesses. It’s about being self-aware of your own limitations and knowing which areas in your life you don’t like and need to improve. Self-love is about doing something about your weaknesses and finding a way towards improvement.”

From “Project Self-Love”:

“I’ve been reflecting a lot recently about many different things but mostly myself. The truth is, I’ve always been so unsure of myself, always needing some sort of validation from others. This is mainly because i’m scared of making any kind of mistake or displeasing people I genuinely like and respect. It’s an unsettling feeling.

Funny thing is, what brought this sudden self-reflection is an Instagram filter. The other day I discovered this Q&A filter on Instagram where random questions pop up and I found myself struggling in answering a lot of questions such as: “What are you most proud of?” and “What is your favorite feature?”

But what really made me think was this question: “What is your favorite thing about yourself?”. I genuinely didn’t know the answer to that question. If you asked me what I hated about myself, I would’ve easily given you a list. This question, on the other hand, I have never really thought about before.

It’s not that I hate myself but I guess I subconsciously pay more attention to my flaws rather than my assets but why is that? Honestly, not being able to answer these questions made me feel like I don’t fully know myself. Who would’ve thought that an Instagram filter would give me an existential crisis? But I guess that’s just how my brain is wired.”

From “The land of no self-hate-Episode 10“:

“Weeks ago I looked at negative self talk and self-hate while reading a book called ‘There is nothing wrong with you’ from Cheri Huber. That had quite some impact and caused some mind shifts but the execution of replacing self-hate with self-love is not there yet. Not that I expected that – it is difficult to change behaviour. And this behaviour has been going on longer than my drinking career so I’m guessing it is more difficult to change.

For me, negative thinking has a lot in common with addiction: repetitive destructive behaviour. Also: it keeps me away from what really is. Even though that reality generally is nicer than the negativity. Keeping a watch on negative thinking was really helpful and insightful for a while. Also: I felt really happy and it is A-MA-ZING how much energy I had during the day. I was surprised by my openness, the good intention and love, joy and activity which came floating to the surface. I felt the same energy I felt when I was a child in my safe years. Then something happened, everything backfired and I totally lost myself only to go back to negativity and self-hate with even more energy. Sound familiar?”

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