Codependency is the Basic Fabric of Our Society

“When your true self gets buried under years of hurtful emotions – often the result of growing up in a dysfunctional family – the result is codependency. It is characterized by feelings of guilt, low self-esteem, insecurity and the desire to fulfill everyone’s needs but your own.

More often than not, codependency occurs in adulthood as a result of a traumatic experience as a child. This may include having neglectful parents, alcoholic or drug addicted parents, or suffering from emotional or physical abuse. Parents of codependence may have other addictions, such as gambling, or they may have been afflicted with an illness for much of the child’s life. As a child, codependents may have needed to look after their siblings or their parents who were suffering from an addiction, and this role of caregiver transfers on to their adult life.”  Kiri Rowan

Dr. Tian Dayton writing for The Huffington Post explores the “biology of codependency“.  Her study of the neurological findings about codependency found that codependency is fear-based. She further believes that the stress of living in a home where the children learned to be more vigilant to the adults’ moods rather than their own taught the children to access mood from outside them. What happens to the child’s moods? The child loses touch with what he/she is feeling.

1.  From Jonathan Fields: “Give me a break: Are you busy for a reason?

Busyness that’s not driven by clarity and purpose is almost always a bad thing. And, it’s near impossible to find clarity and purpose without space. At least, for me.

So, question is, what am I going to do about it?

Here’s what. I’ll be stepping back a bit and asking whether the millions of things that are keeping me busy these days are the things that are moving me toward my continuing quest to come alive…or just keeping me from re-examining “what” will make me come alive as I move into what is very much a new phase of both my career and my life (don’t worry, not bailing on the blog!).

Read more here.

2.  From Diamonds in the Sky With Lucy:” Formation“–“to be nobody but myself— in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make me somebody else— means to fight the hardest battle any human can fight, and never stop fighting.” e.e. cummings

When I allow myself to slow down, I realize that it is God I seek. The ultimate wholeness and completeness of the universe. When I experience God, I am home. I see the beauty of the stillness. I hear the still small voice – the words that seemingly come out of nowhere. The meaning that has no words – only experience. I know that I am here for a purpose even though I may not quite know what it is.

So I invite you to ponder along with me. How are you informed? Do you see patterns in your life that warrant exploration? Who or what do you seek in your daily life? In your readings? Your work or play? Do you choose to fight the battle to be yourself? Or do you allow others to make you into someone else?

Read more here.

3.  From Zen to Fitness:  “Life Lessons from a 5 Year Old“–Children need to play. It’s how they learn, interact with each other, and explore the world. Playtime is built into a child’s day so they can use their imagination, move their bodies, and meet new friends without judgement or hatred. Adults, on the other hand, hardly ever play. There are deadlines to meet, bills to pay, and “things” to take care of which all comes with the job of being a grownup. However, this doesn’t mean we have to neglect our inner child! Many adults suffer from anxiety, stress, and depression because they don’t allow themselves to play, be creative, and they take life very seriously. It’s important for our spirit to enjoy a hobby that fosters our creativity, to spend time outside in nature, and to meet new friends. Oh, and a genuine smile helps also!

Read more here.

Photo credit.

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