The Deepest Part of Childhood Healing is Changing Your Core Beliefs

“In our lives we are faced with a set of core issues that resurface again and again in different settings, with different people, at different times. These issues involve our relationship with the world, with ourselves, with our Higher Power. These are our life lessons.”   Stephanie Covington and Liana Beckett

Finding your triggers is a good way to identify your core beliefs. Remember these have been buried in your subconscious for many years so there will be a period of disbelief about them in the beginning.

Success in changing your core belief takes time. Adopt a schedule to change. One thought per day may be a good beginning. Don’t start on another belief until you have changed the prior one.

The main core beliefs are focused around:

Core issues—
Abandonment—I’m all alone-I don’t matter
Arrogance—I’m right and you are wrong
Damaged—Something is wrong with me.
Inferiority—I’m stupid-I’m not good enough.
Rejection—I’m unwanted-I’m a burden.
Shame—I’m bad-I’m a mistake.

ACA (Adult Children of Alcoholics) Core Issues—
Control
Trust
Feelings
Being over-responsible
Ignore our own needs

You can heal these only when you are feeling them. That is why I believe that a notebook to gather your thoughts and feelings is essential. First write down what you are thinking when you feel uncomfortable.

Our core issues in recovery for those of us who lived in a family of “don’t ask–don’t tell” include the following:

1. From Want to Know.Info: “Transform Fear Through Core Issue Work”:
“Most of us have one or more core issues or challenges which surface repeatedly over the course of our lives. These issues are usually rooted in deep unexpressed fears. Depending on your perspective, core issues either cause all sorts of problems, or present many opportunities for transformation. When you choose to look at core issues as an opportunity, you are much more likely to transform your fears into learning tools which lead to a better life. Below are the most common core issues, their related fears, and suggestions for dealing with them.”

“Examples of Common Core Issues and Associated Fears”

Abandonment – Nobody cares about me. I’m all alone. I don’t matter.
Arrogance – I’m better than all of you. I’m too much. I’m right and you’re wrong.
Damaged – Something is wrong with me. I’m a failure. I’m damaged.
Inferiority – I’m not good enough. I’m stupid. I’m worthless. I’m boring. I’m hopeless.
Rejection – I’m a burden. I’m unwanted. Nobody wants to spend time with me.
Shame – I’m bad. I’m evil. I’m a mistake. I’m a monster. I’m disgusting. I’m possessed.

“Our core issues often originate from childhood family scenarios. They can be a result of negative messages that were repeated many times to us by our parents or other significant people in our lives. Or one of these beliefs may have been driven deep into us during one or more traumatic experiences. Was one of the above statements drilled into you in your early years?”

3 comments

  1. I love this. Recognize all and very helpful reference read too. Thank you for your this!

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  2. Hello kberman, I am PTSD survivor and traumatic based person who survived trauma and childhood abuse, rape and assault growing up. I have to say this blog I can completely relate too. I have felt the guilt and shame in many ways or more as well, as the self doubt and self shaming. I am also a ACA. This is so true. We have to change these core beliefs on ourselves and work on that inner child in order to heal. Love and light, blessings. -Frosty Crow

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  3. We have to change these core beliefs on ourselves and the world including God. That’s right.!!!

    Like

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