Reading About How Families React to Addiction in Their Homes Helps Us to Relate

15554305237_0a48485da5_zBy using 4 RSS readers, I scan headlines from over 200 sources daily. I use Feedly as my addiction recovery source. I follow many bloggers who write about their struggles with trying to help and love family members who seem determined to self-destruct.

From The Addict in My House, writing about her son’s relapse: “The gift that keeps giving”:

My son is sick he is very sick. It doesn’t matter that he has a Wife or a baby there is a war going on in his head and he is losing.  He is able to tell us all the reasons it is okay that he uses and it all makes sense to his drug addicted brain.  One of the reasons he thinks he is okay is that he doesn’t use that much we all know that will change soon enough.  Then a minute later he is trying to convince himself that he can get sober, that he has what it takes to stay sober, to work, to be a good Father and Husband that maybe he just needs to go back to rehab for 30 days, get a new Sponsor and go back to meetings and he will make it this time. It is truly sad listening to him try to talk himself into wanting to be sober. So on one of those days he asked if while he was packing and talking to his Wife and telling her he was leaving for rehab if I would call and get him a bed. So I did, they had a bed for him in his previous rehab and he was set to go in the next day and well he changed his mind. I would love to say I was surprised but I wasn’t and neither was the rehab.  I think the Guy from his IOP that is trying to help him was a little surprised as he came to take him and Blake was packed half assed but he did have some clothes to take and then after a couple of hours of going back and forth he decided he needed to stay with his Wife and could get sober without going.  It isn’t working.

From Just For Today: “Addiction–Mental Illness“:

I just finished a book called Ben Behind His Voices written by Ben’s mom, Randye Kaye. She is telling the story of their journey to get Ben the help he so desperately needed and the eventual diagnosis of schizophrenia. What I am most astounded by is how parallel the journey is for the parents of an addict and the parents of a mentally ill child…adult or not.

From the gradual progression, the lack of real help that is available, the need for them to get worse in order to qualify for any help, the endless costs involved, the battles with insurance companies to get treatment and hospital stays covered, the letting go process, the relapses, to the stigma. Randye said at one point she had to “reject” her son over and over again and felt like it would kill her…..but it was the only way for him to qualify for any sort of help. He had to be “homeless.” In order to receive a mental health dx you have to have two confirmed periods of psychosis before you can receive your dx and then be eligible for services.

From The Addict in My Basement: “Sever the Hand to Save the Arm“:

She is out now.  Not at home, and not a place I approve but the only place I would approve would be further treatment. The big question is what now?  Keep chasing her around and jumping when she calls, or finally putting my foot down. Both options suck.  I can’t keep sitting in wait for her to have an epiphany about loving life and being a responsible member of society because that ship has sailed.  But cutting her off….well, amputating a rotting or diseased limb often will save the person from death. Or further sickness anyway. But something I know from being in the medical field since Jesus was a little boy is that severing the limb does not stop the pain, sensation, and feeling. Often the brain still believes that limb is attached. And it still feels the pain and disease. So, severing the hand to save the arm might stop the spread of the illness, but it won’t heal the person in this case.

Photo credit.

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