Everyone has many personality labels yet most of us resist being labeled. Over a lifetime, we each will have hundreds of labels because we have unique life experiences. The main way that we learn our labels is from others. We generally resist these suggestions as it feels that the labels have a negative connotation. Yet most of our labels are positive and negative at the same time.
We each love to learn about ourselves. But we pretend that we don’t want to know. It is the same maneuver we use to view a group picture that includes us. While oohing and aahing over all the other group members, we are secretly gazing at ourselves.
Most of the labels used by counselors are unknown by clients. The Changemaker Test, which is meant as a vehicle for self-discovery, includes the labels used in NLP (neurolinguistic programming), birth order, family roles, emotional energies, and MBTI (Myers Briggs Type Indicator). Also included are the labels for the Big Five Test, enneagram, and transactional analysis
Changemaker is committed to the basic belief that each person has the opportunity for self-discovery and the potential for self-healing. As individuals, we sometimes choose paths that may be harmful to us. To get off that path and onto a new road takes exploration and experimentation.
The Changemaker Test offers education for self-discovery as Changemaker believes that the change within a person involves the courage to see (insight) and the courage to act (action).
The Changemaker Test will teach anyone 10 labels about themselves. Therefore, by using the labels to change themselves, the changemaker is the person who decides to learn and make the change happen.
Does a personality label mean that a person will always act according to that personality trait? No! A label is only a personality indicator. For the Changemaker Test, in choosing your labels, go with your first choice. Don’t try to figure out the “best” answer. There aren’t any best answers. As we stated before, each label has positive and negative aspects.
On the road of self-discovery, remember to look for guidance among persons that are on their individual path of growth. If someone wants to tell you who to be, that person is not growing but is trying to avoid growth by “changing” you. Some people call this codependency.
Yet we all are probably codependent at one time or another. It happens sometimes that another person gets more of our attention that we are giving to ourselves. But the codependent uses concern to gain power over others in the classic position of “top-dog”. Shared power is the only ingredient in relationships that determines how healthy the union is.
Reciprocity shows respect and dignity in relationships. Emily Dickinson wrote in one of her poems—“the soul selects her own society-then shuts the door”. The power in a relationship is divided or debated from that first glance. The people that we meet and with whom we instantly feel comfortable are those with whom we share the power.
Unfortunately what many call “excitement” is the game of control. The Course in Miracles suggests that our main feelings are love and fear. If we aren’t offering love, we are trapped in our fear.
When You Find the Buddha in the Middle of the Road-Kill Him is the wise title of a good book by Sidney Kopp. No one knows what is better for anyone but that person.
We each have our own answers. Even those trained in counseling techniques can only see what is revealed. Tendencies may be seen and certainly personality indicators will be there. But the work of change is a person’s individual choice.
The test for evaluating our motives when we want to deceive ourselves about our “loving” motives is that when we come in the spirit of love, there will be no resistance. If tension exists in an exchange, there is a power struggle.
The resistance proves that we are coming in a spirit of fear. If we are in a tug of war with someone, we can let go of our end of the rope. With the freed energy from letting go, we can then join the “enemy” to find a solution to the problem.
At the heart of a loving home is peace. Peace comes from “losing” battles and winning the war. “O Lord, let there be peace and let it start with me.
All the Changemaker Test, answers, and explanations for answers are on my blog, Learning Your Labels.