“The closest thing to a cure for most forms of serious psychological suffering is a permanent change in the way one conducts one’s life–and the changes in feeling and self-concept that occur as part of that process.”              Tom Rusk

I believe that the battered woman/man syndrome is a form of PTSD.

1 From Darlene Lancer writing “The Truth about Domestic Violence and Abusive Relationships”:

If you’re a victim of abuse, you feel ashamed. You’ve been humiliated by the abuser and your self-esteem and confidence have been undermined. You hide the abuse from people close to you, often to protect the reputation of the abuser and because of your own shame. An abuser uses tactics to isolate you from friends and loved ones by criticizing them and making remarks designed to force you take sides. You’re either for them or against them. If the abuser feels slighted, then you have to take his or her side, or you’re befriending the enemy. This is designed to increase control over you and your dependence upon him or her.

Steps You Can Take

It’s essential to build outside resources and talk about what’s going on in your relationship. A professional is the best person, because you can build your self-esteem and learn how to help yourself without feeling judged or rushed into taking action. If you can’t afford private individual therapy, find a low-fee clinical in your city, learn all you can from books and online resources, join online forums, and find a support group at a local battered women’s shelter. Do this even if it means keeping a secret. You’re entitled to your privacy.

To avoid getting involved with an abuser when you’re dating, beware of someone who:

• Insists on having his or her way and won’t compromise
• Has outbursts of anger
• Is rude to others
• Criticizes you or your family
• Is jealous or possessive
• Is paranoid

2. From Rheyanne Weaver in EmpowHer: “Children of Alcoholics Week: How to Cope With Being the Child of an Alcoholic”:

“Patricia O’Gorman, a clinical psychologist in New York, was one of the co-founders of the National Association for Children of Alcoholics, which was started in the early 1980s along with the Children of Alcoholics Week.”

She said the week was created to promote awareness and prevention, as well as increase knowledge.”

“With awareness can come prevention,” O’Gorman said, referring to preventing the negative outcomes that children with alcoholic parents can have.”

“Although the tendency might be to focus on younger children who are currently still living with alcoholic parents, there are still adult women who are children of alcoholics and have learned or are still learning to cope with unstable, neglectful and sometimes violent parents.”

“I have people telling me all the time ‘Well I should be over this. How come I’m not over it?’” O’Gorman said.”

“It’s because they haven’t dealt with the past yet and resolved past issues, she explained. Often, there is trauma involved.”

“I think the most underreported mental health issue is trauma,” she said. “There tends to be a fair amount of trauma in this population.”

“O’Gormann said that depression and anxiety are more often reported by children of alcoholics. Sometimes this is inherited from parents, and other times it’s the result of abusive situations or a combination. However, sometimes other issues, like learning disabilities and behavioral problems, are linked to trauma. Domestic violence and abuse are instances where trauma can be an outcome.””

“Children of alcoholics are often dealing with more than alcoholic parents as well, since alcoholism doesn’t always come by itself. People with alcohol abuse or dependence sometimes have comorbid psychiatric disorders, like depression, bipolar disorder or anxiety. Some alcoholics may have dealt with low self-esteem, or traumatic events and use alcohol to self-medicate.”

3.  From Robin Sax: Another Case of Enabling Celebrity Justice? Charlie Sheen”:

“Domestic violence, substance abuse, trashed hotel rooms, and porn stars/prostitutes. Charlie Sheen’s bio could read like a rap sheet, and many are in jail for much less. The questions are: how does he get away with it, and is CBS his biggest enabler? No one argues that Sheen’s behavior has gone from bad to worse. So how is that CBS, the network he has helped make number one, is not under fire for allowing all this to go on? I mean isn’t time to pull his show?”

“At the Television Critics Association press tour, a tour usually reserved for softball questions, CBS Entertainment Chief Nina Tassler was asked a serious question, was CBS was worried about Sheen. “We have a high level of concern. How could we not. On a basic human level, there is concern that this man is a father, he has children, he has a family, ” was her way of avoiding the obvious.”

“She added, “you can’t look at it simplistically. Charlie is professional, he comes to work. He does his job extremely well. It’s very complicated … The show is a hit, and that’s all I have to say.” Okay, here’s the real deal. CBS insiders tell me, the sad truth is, the worse he behaves, the higher the ratings. During Sheen’s Colorado case of domestic violence against his estranged wife Brooke Mueller, his ratings actually went up. After the headlines faded, he was given a raise making him the highest paid actor on TV.”

“So, I see commit some crimes, avoid jail, and get a raise. I am sure many people would sign up for that gig. Part of the problem may revolve around Sheen’s legal “luck” or just darn good legal advocacy. But, there are two sides to every case and while Sheen attorney Yale Gallanter may be doing a great job on his end, why are prosecutors and judges cowtailing to an abuser whose crimes continue to stack up like a deck of cards?”

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