Jealousy is different than envy. Jealousy robs us and others of our genuine affection which can sometimes be envy. Jealousy is mean-spirited and comes from the place where we want to deny someone else something.
From Advice From a Single Dating Expert: “How to overcome your jealousy“:
Overcoming Jealousy – You CAN do it!
There are few emotions that can be as toxic to a relationship in the way that jealousy can. If you can get over this now you can make way for a healthy relationship and enjoy the dating process. Jealousy is a natural emotion and it can be managed in a healthy way. However, it can also poison any romance and result in your partner feeling smothered or controlled. You have to get to the root of the jealousy to determine if the relationship is healthy for both individuals. Sometimes jealousy is the result of a larger problem that can’t be fixed. If jealousy is becoming a huge part of your relationship, you must act now. You can’t keep feeling betrayed or accusing your partner. Eventually jealousy will rip the two of you apart. However, how do you begin to overcome jealousy? It will not be easy, but there are a few things that you can do to overcome your jealousy.
Ask Yourself Why
There is always an underlying reason for any emotion. You must ask yourself why you are constantly feeling jealous or threatened. Jealousy is a behavior that you choose and you must find out why. You have to determine if jealousy is just your natural way of coping and find out why you are deciding to act in this manner. At the end of eth day, you are the one choosing to get angry and jealous. The answer might give you insight on where to go from here.
Have You Been Hurt In The Past?
If you have been cheated on before, this may be the overriding cause of your jealousy. Your current partner doesn’t even have to be the one that cheated on you. You can have issues of jealousy connected to being cheated on in your past. Being cheated on leads people to feeling inadequate, fearful, untrusting and constantly jealous. You have to understand that jealousy can lead your partner to feeling attacked and unhappy. Eventually they will look for someone that trusts, respects and treats them with the dignity that your own jealousy will not allow. Being fearful of cheating can lead to feelings of jealousy that actually trigger cheating. It can be a dangerous web that you weave with constant feelings of jealousy.
Jealousy and Control
You should also understand that jealousy is also a way to try and dictate constant control. Many people that struggle with issues of jealousy also have control issues. If power is what you are always looking to achieve, you must start to understand how this will eventually make your partner feel. If you like the control and power that being jealous allows you to have, you need to work on your own issues to help release the strain it is placing on your relationship. You must decide to make a conscious decision to start respecting and stop controlling your partner. You must make different choices when it comes to your actions and the demands that you make.
Respect and Happiness
A relationship will only flourish if both partners feel safe and respected. Jealousy simply makes any relationship turn toxic and eventually becomes its demise. If you are constantly jealous in your relationship, you must realize that this will not end well. Jealousy will eventually ruin everything that you and your partner have built together. You must decide if your jealousy is warranted or if you simply have other issues that are causing this emotion to come to life. Sometimes jealousy is a sign that you are not a good match for each other, but sometimes it simply means that you need to work through your own issues causing your jealous behavior. Ask yourself the hard questions and get to the underlying issues causing this emotion to surface.