“If you want to “get in touch with your feelings”, fine-talk to yourself, we all do. But if you want to communicate with another thinking human being, get in touch with your thoughts. Put them in order, give them a purpose, use them to persuade, to instruct, to discover, to seduce. The secret way to do this is to write it down, and then cut out the confusing parts.”
“Don’t waste your time trying to control the uncontrollable, or trying to solve the unsolvable, or thinking about what could have been. Instead, think about what can be if you wisely control what you can control and solve the problems you can solve with the wisdom you have gained from both your victories and your defeats in the past.” David Mahoney
This quotation about communication is the most effective way to deal with troubled relationships. I wish I had read this many years ago. I can look back to going round and round and ending up in the same place with my husband. If I had spent some time figuring out what I wanted to say, I know he and I could had better communication. We have been divorced and while I know that a divorce is the best for both of us, I do wish I could have expressed myself clearer.
Some other posts you might enjoy–
Gerald Sindell–“So before you even open your mouth and say your first word, people are making judgments about your intelligence. They’re reading your energy levels from your posture. They’re making judgments about how well organized your mind might be from how you hold yourself and move your limbs. And they’re looking at your eyes to see if you are looking at them. If they can’t make contact with you, they might assume there’s no light on.”
Joi–“Words have the power to heal broken hearts and make dreams come true. They have the power to make someone feel better about themselves. They also have the power to break hearts in the first place and to keep dreams from coming true. And of course they have the power to tear someone down completely and cause them to feel completely worthless.”
Grande Lum–“I have noticed that one of benefits of having a mediator is that the mediator can see people’s temperatures rising and make choices to lower them immediately. Being the third party I see both parties’ faces as they are talking and I can more easily notice the reactions and emotional states. I will then stop the conversation and ask one or all parties for feedback. I can jump in and break the cycle of a tit for tat, where one party’s reaction triggers the other and it spirals downward from there.”