The word respect, or some version thereof, occurred twenty-two times in the What Your Husband Wants You to Know survey.
- Your respect and conversely your disrespect cuts to the core of who we are as men and husbands.
- Respect is more important than sex.
- We need to be respected even when you don’t feel like it.
- Unconditional Respect is essential.
- Respect their husbands and do not patronise them!
- Men have a difficult time with disrespect especially if being put down in front of others.
- Respecting us is also part of our identity as men.
- I want her Love and Respect me.
- Man’s need for understanding and respect – we have our insecurities too.
- Respect: Don’t speak to us like you do the kids (even if we’re behaving or acting like the kids).
Reading those, I see what a difficult task you ladies have with this one! Unconditional respect? Don’t treat him like a kid even if he behaves like one?
The underlying issue here is most men do not feel respected in our society. They do not feel respected at work. Some women make negative accusations about them just because they are men. We want home to be a safe place. We want respect even when we are less than perfect.
Part of the problem is the fact men and women are different. We often do not think the way you think. We are more given to risk, and we do things for the pure excitement of doing them. This is not childish; it is who God made us to be. When a man is being a man, his wife will from time to time feel uncomfortable about his actions and choices. This tension is part of God’s plan, and we need to learn to embrace it.
Giving him the benefit of the doubt will go a long way towards his feeling respected. Saying, “Go ahead, but it will not work” feels disrespectful. “I told you so” is the same. Failure is part of how we learn and grow – can you make some room for that?
I understand the idea respect is earned. I also see how difficult that can be in a “prove yourself” atmosphere. I think there is a positional respect due husbands. We respect the office of the President and therefore respect the man even if we disagree with his politics. A similar kind of respect for one’s husband is good and helpful.
Most men feel a deep lack of respect. When you show him respect, it opens his heart to you. And that is a good thing!
For more on this subject, check out Are Love and Respect the Same Thing?