“We need to accept that in the end it is not our parents or God who have abandoned us; we have abandoned ourselves.                            Philip Oliver-Diaz and Patricia 0’German

1. From Sgt. Max Harris: Life With Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder– Story of Warning:

“What I am about to describe may sound very familiar to a lot of veterans and their families…How the story ends is the outcome I most fervently wish for all of them. That being said, many veterans believe that getting help is a sign of weakness — especially male veterans. It is a common belief that ‘sucking it up’ is the ‘manly’ thing to do. This story is directed at those veterans…”

“When I was serving in Iraq, I witnessed a friendly-fire incident. It really destroyed me, emotionally and spiritually. It may sound horrible but it would have been much easier to accept if the soldier would have been killed by the enemy. I ended up paranoid and broken, a danger to myself and others…so they sent me home.”

“When I returned home from service overseas, I was diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). My life was a mess, a complete disaster area. I was hyper-vigilant, agitated, depressed, paranoid, easily angered, and rarely sleeping. If I didn’t feel in complete control of my environment, I would lose my temper and lash out at the people that loved me the most. The irony is that I was so concerned about controlling everything around me; I didn’t notice that, physically, I was a mess. I wasn’t bathing regularly, my laundry was out of control, and I wasn’t shaving. I bottomed out and realized that I needed help about two months after I got home. I was freaking out about something; I can’t even remember what it was. My father tried to calm me down. I got so angry at my dad for trying to offer a logical solution that I almost hit him. My father has always been a kind, understanding, and generous man. The fact that I almost assaulted him made my whole world collapse around me. The façade that I put on for everyone, the one that told everyone how well I was coping, was irrevocably shattered. I finally admitted to myself that I needed help.”

“If you are a veteran who is struggling with these issues, which is better — To get help and admit you have a problem or continue to hurt everyone around you that loves you? Men, is it manlier to ‘suck it up’ and continue to have issues holding down a job or is it manlier to get help so that you can be there to support your family? I hope you take this warning to heart before you put everyone and everything you hold dear at risk.”

2.  From New York Times: ” Voice of Post-Traumatic Stress”:

“Most people associate post-traumatic stress disorder with military service during wartime. But increasingly, therapists are reporting that the typical patient with P.T.S.D. has experienced trauma in everyday life, reports Karen Barrow in today’s Science Times.”

“One of the new faces of post-traumatic stress is Robin Hutchins, a 25-year-old victim of sexual violence.”

“Friends didn’t understand why she never wanted to go out. They would play down her anxiety and say, “Oh, you’re just going to laugh at this in a couple days.” It took years of sleepless nights and paralyzing anxiety over tasks as simple as grocery shopping before she began to look for help.”

“She sought out psychologists, but some dismissed her. “They’d say, ‘What does a pretty girl like you have to worry about?’ ” she said. Others were simply too expensive. Finally, during an initial consultation, a psychologist heard her full story and said the simple phrase that changed everything: “You have P.T.S.D.”

3. From Mary Christine in Being Sober: November 3rd Stuff:

“My bed is so important to me – why?”

“Well, it became so in early sobriety for some reason. And last summer when I was going through some intense PTSD, it became moreso.”

“When I was beginning EMDR treatment for PTSD, I was asked to name a “safe” place. The only place that came to mind was my bedroom, specifically my bed. I thought it was a lame answer. I thought I should name a tropical beach with swaying palm trees and white sands underfeet. But my truth was that my safe place was my very own bed in my very own bedroom.”

“Later, when completing this session of extremely difficult remembering of traumatic events, I got to return to my “safe place” in my imagination in my therapist’s office. I had tears of gratitude when I thought about the fact that my place was reality and that it was only a few miles away, not just in my imagination, but in my reality. Later that night, I returned to my very own bed. My very own safe place.”

“Through years of sobriety, some of them very difficult, I had created this place for myself. I had created this safety for myself. The rest of the world may be difficult but my home is not. And my bed is the place that is the most symbolic of the efforts I take to care for myself.”

“I know I must turn my thoughts to others most of the time, but I also need to do some self-care.”

“My bed is where I ask him in the morning for another day of sobriety, and thank him at night.”

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