Being Passive-Aggressive Can Be Fun

“We don’t receive wisdom, we must discover it for our­selves after a journey that no one can take for us or spare us.” Marcel Proust

1.  Using a trip to entertain with passive-aggressive tendencies from “Todays is Tyrant’s birthday and here is my ode”:

“I’d never driven a car like that before, and I hate to admit it, but that was one hell of a ride and pretty much perfect for the way I drive: aggressive and unforgiving. I resent speed limits. I hold grudges for days against people who drive slowly in the lane leading up to an exit and then don’t even exit. I want to follow them home and leave a note on their windshield that says YOU ARE RUINING PEOPLE’S LIVES.”

“Why are you looking at me as if I’m passive-aggressive? I’m a former Mormon. It’s called Righteous Indignation.”

“I also cannot be in the passenger seat of a car when someone is driving much too cautiously, which pretty much means Tyrant is not ever allowed to drive me anywhere ever again. You would think that someone with the name Tyrant would be all over getting to his destination with vigor and purpose! But he is the exact opposite and cannot even bring himself to change lanes. Ever. OH! And he’s the type of driver who starts to slow down about a hundred yards from a stop sign. I’m breaking out in a rash just remembering this.”

2.  From Signe Whitson’s Passive-Aggressive Diaries: Filing Out School Forms: The Oldest Husband Vs. Wife Passive Aggressive Trick in the Book:

“It’s season premiere week for the TV networks and what makes for better, more hilariously relatable comedy than passive aggression between spouses? Check out this clip from ABC’s The Middle as Frankie guilts Mike into filling out school forms, when all he really wants to do is go to sleep. Instead of getting mad or refusing to help, Mike uses the oldest passive aggressive trick in the book–Intentional Inefficiency–to get out of the chore.”

3. Great app discovery from Jolie O’Dell: “Sneaky New App Avoids Awkward Chats, Sends You Straight to Voicemail”

“Name: slydial

“Quick Pitch: slydial is a free voice messaging service which connects you directly to someone’s mobile voicemail.”

“Genius Idea: If you’ve ever dreaded making a phone call and anxiously wished for a voicemail greeting as you dialed, you know exactly why this app is a genius idea. It strips away the awkwardness of a voice-to-voice call while still letting you claim to have attempted direct communication.”

“How perfectly passive-aggressive! We can imagine this app going over well for:”

  • Breakups,
  • Firings,
  • The-morning-after apologies,
  • Stalling on or avoiding a meetup,
  • Making excuses to a boss,
  • “Duty” calls to chatty friends and relatives,
  • “Just touching base” reminder/nagging calls,
  • 3 a.m. calls that don’t need to be wake-up calls, as well,
  • And ever so much more.

“Essentially, the app “creates the illusion of communication” without making you actually have to listen to other people, play politics or hear someone else’s side of an argument. In theory, it works just as well for the incurable narcissist as for the cripplingly antisocial.”

“Before you protest, it’s true that slydial isn’t the Gandhi of applications. But it plays into a powerful part of the human psyche: Our desire to avoid conflict. The makers of slydial have paved the path of least resistance beautifully, and we can imagine that quite a few people will be traipsing down that path in the months to come.”

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