How to Get Strokes

From Dr. Claude Steiner’s web page:

RITUALS, PASTIMES, GAMES, INTIMACY, WORK There are five ways people can structure their time to get strokes:  1. A ritual is a pre-set exchange of recognition strokes. 2. A pastime is a pre-set conversation around a certain subject. Pastimes are most evident at cocktail parties and family get-togethers. Some common pastimes are: Weather (Hot enough for you?) PTA (pot luck or catered?), Sports (How’bout them Yankees?) Drugs (Should Marijuana Be Legalized?), or Who’s Divorcing Who? (Musical Beds). 3. Games are repetitive, devious series of transactions intended to get strokes. Unfortunately, the strokes obtained in games are mostly negative. A game is a failed method of getting wanted strokes. 4. Intimacy is a direct and powerful exchange of strokes which people crave but seldom attain because the Child is frightened away from it by hurtful experiences. Intimacy is not the same as sex, although it often occurs in sex. Sex, however, can also be a ritual, a pastime, a game, or work. 5. Work is an activity which has a product as its result. Good work results in the exchange of strokes as a side effect.

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