I have read Real Live Preacher for several years. He gained a deeper respect from me when he wrote about his depression. In his words:
“Calling it depression was a mistake from the beginning. What does that mean, exactly? Depression. My grandfather didn’t call it anything. He was just moody and lost his temper sometimes. When he was in “one of his moods” you stayed away from him. And when he got one of his “sick headaches,” he just endured it.”
“My mother never called it anything either. She had sick headaches too, and would go to bed with them. Sometimes her face would be slack and show no emotion. You sometimes saw that in photographs. Then she started slowly pulling away from everyone. At holidays you would see her in another room sitting quietly on the couch. If you went in there she would try her best to engage you and be a good mother. She would ask questions and talk to you, but you could tell she wanted to be alone so badly that it made her jittery.”
In the same article,”Call It Depression“, he talks about what happened to him when he didn’t have his medicine:
“Last week, as my Wellbutrin dwindled, I waited to see if I would feel a sudden mood drop. I did not. What happened was a gradual loss of interest and emotion. As I think about it now, I wonder if what I experience with depression is something like the experience of a psychopath. I can’t love anyone. I can’t feel any love for another person. It’s like someone removed that part of my brain.”
“This is a marker for me: When my depression has gotten me into a bad place, I don’t want to be around my children. I don’t want them touching me. I don’t want anyone touching me. I don’t want to look people in the eyes. Any kind of social interaction causes levels of discomfort you might expect if you were asked to walk into a ballroom in your underwear and start talking to people. You don’t want to be there. If forced to go into the ballroom in your underwear and talk to people, you can do it. But you hate it, and you can’t wait for it to end so you can just go home.”
“It’s kind of like that, only there is no good reason for me to isolate myself. I’m not being asked to go to a ballroom in my underwear. My daughter just wants to hug me and sit close to me on the couch. The people at church just want to talk. Normal stuff. ”
Some other links I’ve enjoyed: A Listening Prayer
I Need Some Help Scoring Some Drugs–Seriously In this article, Gordon writes about his struggles to get insurance due to being on anti-depressants and the high cost (almost $500.00 monthly just for his medication. In the posts to this article, the following suggestions wear given as solutions to buying online:
I work in the medical field as well and occasionally point people to wal-mart’s $4 generic prescription program. Here is the link…Walmart Free Home Delivery.
I feel your pain with the insurance issues. The ins. companies really do hold all the cards. If you have a good experience with a company in Canada would you mind letting us know? Thanks..
Submitted by Anonymous (not verified) on Fri, 04/04/2008 – 09:36. Am also prescribed Welbutrin and using a generic, (Budeprion XL 300mg) purchased at Walgreens for $92.13 per 30 days. Haven’t seemed to have any issues with the generic. Did check out the “generic” $ 4.00 or 5.00 lists at HEB, Walgreens and Walmart and this isn’t one of the “listed” drugs. Hardly anything currently used is, BTW. Hope this is some help.
Submitted by The Red Katt (not verified) on Fri, 04/04/2008 – 18:08. Two sites I recommend highly — MedCenterCanada.com, and InHousePharmacy.com
Submitted by enzgrrl (not verified) on Fri, 04/04/2008 – 19:33. Gordon,
1)I take a generic for welbutrin and have an excess (I took 1/day for a long time while filling a Rx for 2/day). Please get in touch with me if you think the generic would be OK. Some federal laws should be bent. I have plain old bupropion 150, not extended release.
2)If you have no insurance, you can apply directly to the pharma companies for free meds. My in-laws do this because they are not insurable (diabetes, fibromyalgia, glaucoma,arthritis, depression, gout, cancer and poverty). You have to do it for each company whose meds you need, but it’s worth the trouble!