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January 2012 Topic: Transactional Analysis: Game Theory of TA

Reprinted from working-minds.com:  “Game Theory in a Nutshell”:

Dr. Berne discovered the Game Theory area of T/A during close study of alcoholics. He defined only three roles or moves in Game-playing: Victim, Rescuer, and Persecutor. You all make these moves in virtually all transactions, automatically, by default, because these three moves were given to you by example, since the day that you first drew breath, since every one of you grew up inside the Culture-Structure.

The advantage of learning and consciously, intentionally operating inside of an awareness of Games operated by others is the same as with any skill: You can learn to drive from a parent, or you can learn to drive at racing school; you can learn English in school or on the street or from our brain-deadening media – or you can study an encyclopedia and a dictionary and a thesaurus. One is haphazard, the other produces a skill.

How you know that there is a Game is that there is a switch. Someone bangs their car into yours, you become a Victim – or they do. If there is a policeman nearby, you might prevail upon them to Rescue you. Both sides in such a case will usually attempt the role of Persecutor, either immediately – loud accusations, even fisticuffs – or wait to ask the insurance company to Rescue by acting as Persecutor.

The Dating Game is fraught with soap opera-style drama: girl flirts with boy (Rescue me from being single); boy takes girl out and is over-aggressive (she is Victim); she tells all her friends (Rescue by sympathy). Meanwhile, he tells all his friends how she conned him for dinner and entertainment (he is also Victim, from the same evening), and likewise receives ‘Rescue by sympathy’.

If things go just a little wrong, she warns her friends of his boorish or ill-mannered behavior (Persecutor), and-or he lies to his friends that she led him on and did not acquiesce (same evening: he is also Persecutor). If things go really bad, she calls the cops on him for touching her (serious Persecutor), or he does more than touch her (same: serious Persecutor). Switch, switch, switch.

On and on, for the last several millennia, with no solution expected for the never-ending Battle of the Sexes/Genders – or for the Irish or the Israelis or the native population of whatever country you want to name.

But the use of T/A skills can intervene in this automatic stimulus-response, which occurs at the level of Individual, at the levels of Group and Community, and indeed, between nations and races. In fact, should an expedition of Martians ever land on the White House lawn, Mankind will perpetuate this same Game behavior on them, which the Martians will not comprehend. I expect any such party of Visitors From Space will either take us under their wing, classifying us as intergalactic savages, or take immediate offense and wipe us out without a qualm.

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The Moment That Changed My Life

Each life has defining moments. The moment that changed my life happened in a home for alcoholic women in 1976. I was in a discussion with Lois, another alcoholic from Brooklyn, and she was talking about her life. Midway through her talk, I felt intense warmth toward her and compassion flowed through me. The miracle was that I had had a very sheltered life and she had had a very tough life, but in that moment we were sisters and kindred spirits.

When I got up and walked outside, everything was different—trees, cars, the street—I saw everything with new eyes. It took me much searching to find out what had happened to me. In a book by William James entitled The Varieties of Religious Experience (1902), I found that I had had a radical conversion.

Did I answer a calling? I don’t know what happened to me except I knew that God had given me that compassion and love that I felt that day. I know that someone with an experience is never at the mercy of someone with an argument.

From that day until today, I have tried to accept the guidance that God gives me and it has been the most amazing journey. I don’t believe that God does more for me now than He did before that day. The difference is that I now can see the daily miracles.  “Once I was blind and now I see.”

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Sarah T’s Recovery Story

I grew up without a dad. I guess that got to me more than I thought. I was always a good little girl. I had good friends and I went to church all the time. Me and my mother didn’t get along too well. She always wanted me to be someone I was not. She didn’t like the size I was. I was not fat, just not skinny.I went on a church trip once and there I tasted alcohol for the first time. I loved it. Something just clicked inside of me. I no longer felt the bad feelings I once did.

I then started to smoke pot and then taking pills. Before long I was a full blown cocaine addict. I loved it. It made me numb and all of the things I use to worry about no longer mattered.I sold many things to get cocaine. I began to hate it, but I needed it. One night I had a wreck. My mother found out I was on drugs and sent me to rehab. I relapsed after rehab. The cocaine addiction got worse. So did the drinking.

I Can Make It

Finally something in me just could not take it anymore, so I went to an AA meeting. I have been sober now for three months. I still have a lot of work to do and I still have a long path ahead, but with God helping me I believe and have hope that I can make it through this hard life.I am now only 18 years old and about to start college. I never would I have thought I would be alive to go to college, but thank you, dear Lord, for giving me life. If it worked for me it can work for you.

This excerpt is from About.

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