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	<title>Learning to Listen to Yourself &#187; Self-Acceptance</title>
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	<description>Changing Your Thinking Frees Up Emotional Energy</description>
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		<title>Accepting Our Shadow Self is Basis of Self-Acceptance</title>
		<link>http://kathyberman.com/2010/03/accepting-our-shadow-self-is-basic-of-self-acceptance/</link>
		<comments>http://kathyberman.com/2010/03/accepting-our-shadow-self-is-basic-of-self-acceptance/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 09 Mar 2010 06:32:42 +0000</pubDate>
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				<category><![CDATA[Emotions]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Self-Acceptance]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[&#8220;In my eighty years, I prefer to call that the forty-first anniversary of my thirty ninth birthday, I&#8217;ve seen what men can do for each other and do to each other, I&#8217;ve seen war and peace, feast and famine, depression and prosperity, sickness and health. I&#8217;ve seen the depth of suffering and the peaks of [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div id="attachment_4491" class="wp-caption alignleft" style="width: 160px"><a href="http://kathyberman.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/03/boat-MorBCH.jpg"><img class="size-thumbnail wp-image-4491" title="boat-MorBCH" src="http://kathyberman.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/03/boat-MorBCH-150x150.jpg" alt="" width="150" height="150" /></a><p class="wp-caption-text">Boat by MorBCH</p></div>
<p>&#8220;In my eighty years, I prefer to call that the forty-first anniversary of my thirty ninth birthday, I&#8217;ve seen what men can do for each other and do to each other, I&#8217;ve seen war and peace, feast and famine, depression and prosperity, sickness and health. I&#8217;ve seen the depth of suffering and the peaks of triumph and I know in my heart that man is good, that what is right will always eventually triumph and that there is purpose and worth to each and every life.&#8221; <small>[<a href="http://www.planbproductions.com/postnobills/reagan1.html">the last portion of this quote is inscribed on his gravestone</a>] </small><br />
-<em><a href="http://www.quoteland.com/author.asp?AUTHOR_ID=386">Ronald Reagan</a>, Ronald Reagan Library Opening Ceremonies</em></p>
<p><em> </em>Each of us has an inner guide to show us when we are off target. To sin is to miss the mark. Becoming a valued person takes patience and willingness to accept the responsibility of treating others with the same respect.</p>
<p>But love begins with loving and accepting ourselves. And paradoxically, that means accepting what Carl Jung called our shadow self. Jung believed (<a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shadow_self">from Wikipedia</a>):</p>
<p>&#8220;In <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jungian_psychology">Jungian psychology</a>, the <strong>shadow</strong> or &#8220;<strong>shadow aspect</strong>&#8221; is a part of the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Unconscious_mind">unconscious mind</a> consisting of <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psychological_repression">repressed</a> weaknesses, shortcomings, and instincts. It is one of the three most recognizable <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jungian_archetypes">archetypes</a>, the others being the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anima_and_animus">anima and animus</a> and the persona. &#8220;Everyone carries a shadow,&#8221; Jung wrote, &#8220;and the less it is embodied in the individual&#8217;s conscious life, the blacker and denser it is.&#8221;<sup><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shadow_self#cite_note-0">[1]</a></sup> It may be (in part) one&#8217;s link to more primitive animal instincts,<sup><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shadow_self#cite_note-1">[2]</a></sup> which are superseded during early childhood by the conscious mind.&#8221;</p>
<p>&#8220;According to Jung, the shadow, in being instinctive and <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Irrationality">irrational</a>, is prone to project: turning a personal inferiority into a perceived moral deficiency in someone else. Jung writes that if these projections are unrecognized &#8220;The projection-making factor (the Shadow archetype) then has a free hand and can realize its object&#8211;if it has one&#8211;or bring about some other situation characteristic of its power.&#8221; <sup><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shadow_self#cite_note-2">[3]</a></sup> These projections insulate and cripple individuals by forming an ever thicker fog of illusion between the ego and the real world.&#8221;</p>
<p>&#8220;Jung also believed that &#8220;in spite of its function as a reservoir for human darkness—or perhaps because of this—the shadow is the seat of creativity.&#8221;</p>
<p>I try very hard to not bad and good in my self-appraisal because I have made the decision to accept the job of making my emotional choices based on self-acceptance. That means loving others now that I have found how to love myself.</p>
<p>The following links offer different ideas about learning to value ourselves and others. From these feelings of value, empathy is born and grows.</p>
<p><a href="http://www.guardian.co.uk/books/2009/jan/03/society-politics">Love thy neighbor</a></p>
<p><a href="http://www.searchengineguide.com/diane-aull/social-media-conversations-sbm-unleashed.php">Social media marketing (not marketing: conversations</a></p>
<p><a href="http://www.scotthyoung.com/blog/2008/06/09/social-independence/">Social independence</a></p>
<p><a href="http://www.freemoneyfinance.com/2008/06/your-money-or-y.html">Your money or your life</a>&#8211;a summary of Chap. 11 from 50 Prosperity Classics: Attract It, Create It, Manage It, Share It (50 Classics)</p>
<p><a href="http://www.globalgiving.com/pr/1300/proj1271d.html#progressReportLink">Saving 200 runaway girls from prostitution</a></p>
<p><a href="http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/05/18/coachology-finally-men-are-placing-high-value-on-personal-life-get-on-the-bandwagon/">Coachology: Finally, the men place high value on personal life. Get on the bandwagon</a></p>
<p><a href="http://www.myglobalcareer.com/archives/2008/11/03/counter-intuitiveness-comes-of-age/">Counter-intuitiveness comes of age</a></p>
<p><a href="http://www.widowsquest.com/affirmations-are-helping-my-mind/">Affirmations are helping my mind</a></p>
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