“I also learned how valuable it is to talk to people about sleep. It’s as though you are enlisting the world around you in helping you meet your goal. Not only did people share with me their sleep tips, but having people constantly ask me if I was getting enough sleep or making sure I wasn’t drinking coffee after noon or staying up past my scheduled bed time were a wonderful safeguard against falling into old, bad habits.”

“You don’t have to write about your sleep experiences twice a week and publish them on HuffPost and Glamour to get the same benefits. Tell your friends and family about your sleep goals — put it out there — and watch how many “sleep angels” start looking out for you and holding you to your sleep commitment. It’s like a Field of Sweet Dreams: build it, and they will come (to tuck you in).”

Learning and maintaining a commitment to make our sleeping important to our life will add passion and drive. Our passion is increased once we allow ourselves to believe that our dream may be possible. I love helping people so I am open to anything that will help me fill this need. Because of my letting go of old beliefs about myself, I have been freed up to work toward a movement that will enable the people I care about to join together.

Our passion comes from following our flow. Flow has been explained by Mihály Csíkszentmihályi. He describes our flow as that feeling of joy when we are doing something we love to do and are doing it effortlessly. Some athletes call it being in the zone.

Writing in her blog, Joyful Days, Daphne offers us a challenge to choose one of the following proven ways to living  a happy life:

1. Believe in something
2. Embrace silence
3. Work on your own terms
4. Find your “flow” experience
5. Have something to look forward to
6. Hang out with friends
7. Just carry on living

Many people believe that they aren’t creative. Yet few of them schedule creativity. Creativity is an art and a science. You can find your creativity by making it a goal. Schedule time to spend searching and exploring your “flow” activity. Remember creativity is playing and enjoying what you do in your creativity time.

James Chartrand (who is really a woman) writing in Fuel Your Writing about how to learn the skill of being inspired suggests during the following to find your flow:

1. Explore new experiences  “
2. Ask people about themselves
3. Bring a notebook

Good Livin' by v stamey

Emotional health is directly connected to our physical health. Choosing healthy ways (exercise, meditation, centering, deep breathing) to deal with stress go far toward our overall health. The mind-body connection is the way your body responds to how you think, feel and act.

Some of the physical signs that your body and mind may be out of connection are chest pain, headaches, back pain, extreme tiredness, high blood pressure, upset stomach, weight loss or gain, insomnia, etc. Many of these ailments may be as well treated by learning how to improve your emotions. Learn how to sort out the following emotions: anxiety, stress and sadness.

Too many of us have learned as children to stuff our feelings. The only emotional growth comes after we accept our feelings. Feelings aren’t good or bad or wrong or right. They are simply how we feel. Some people are helped by writing in a journal a short description of how they feel. After you accept your feelings, you can study healthy ways to deal with them.

Unfortunately, many people now believe that they have to continually “vent” all their feelings. In my opinion, vending feelings about the same situation does little good. If, once your feelings are know about a situation to all involved in the situation and everything stays the same, then learn new coping skills such as reframing to change the way you feel.

Remember, you can only change yourself—not others. If you still feel unable or unwilling to change—find out what your unhappiness is giving you. Holding on to old hurts only hurts us.

Mosaic of Hamadan Gathering by Hamed Saber

“Play us a tune on an unbroken spinet, and let the bells ring, let the bells ring! Play music now: play us a tune on an unbroken spinet. Do not make echoes of forgotten time, do not strike music from old broken keys, do not make ghosts with faded tinklings on the yellowed board; but play us a tune on an unbroken spinet, play lively music when the instrument was new, let us see Mozart playing in the parlor, and let us hear the sound of the ladies’ voices. But more than that; waken the turmoil of forgotten streets, let us hear their sounds again unmuted, and unchanged by time, throw the light of Wednesday morning on the Third Crusade, and let us see Athens on an average day.”

— Thomas Wolfe, Of Time and the River

Dr. Tian Dayton writing for The Huffington Post explores the “biology of codependency“.  His study of the neurological findings about codependency found that codependency is fear-based. He further believes that the stress of living in a home where the children learned to be more vigilant to the adults’ moods rather than their own taught the children to access mood from outside them. What happens to the child’s moods? The child loses touch with what he/she is feeling.

Coming alive links:

1.  Give me a break: Are you busy for a reason?

2.  Formation–“to be nobody but myself— in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make me somebody else— means to fight the hardest battle any human can fight, and never stop fighting.” e.e. cummings

3.  It’s the perfect day to be alive.–includes “Wonderful Life” by Natalie Grant from her CD Relentness.

Biting Off More by Balaji Dutt

When beginning a new job or getting married or other life challenges, extra stress helps to solve these experiences. But often we experience stress that is non-productive and is robbing us of our energy.

Some and even great stress can be beneficial. The added energy from stress helps us to more to more and better solutions for our lives. Changemaker is aimed toward finding the repetitive non-productive stress that robs you of energy.

Since stress has been found to contribute to most of human illnesses, Changemaker encompasses mental, physical, emotional, behavioral, social and spiritual reduction techniques.

Your mind, body and emotions either work together to help you experience your life more fully or are each using energy in avoiding behaviors. The way to control your life is to control your thoughts and your words. So many of the techniques you will learn from Changemaker will introduce you to ways to stop over-reacting or avoiding behaviors.

When we were children, we often had to learn self-defeating or self-limiting behavior to appease our authority figures. Many parents confuse discipline with punishment. To avoid punishment, we often learn ways of avoidance or delay that rob us of our true being. So in continuing these defensive behaviors we are using our energy non-productively.

We tell our bodies how healthy we want to be by the choices we make in using our energy. The Changemaker goal is for you to learn how to tell your body that you want to be completely healthy. By learning how to reframe your thoughts in order to choose positive thoughts, you are telling your emotions that you want to be healthy.

By learning convenient and easy ways to exercise, you are telling your body that you want to be healthy. By learning how to incorporate meditation, relaxation, visualization, and other coping techniques, we tell our minds and our soul that we want to be healthy.

You can learn all these techniques by reading the Changemaker Blogs. Each blog is about an individual topic that upon which you may choose to focus. I am including a complete list of all the Changemaker sites.

2-8. From Zen Habits–How to get a lot done–7 tips to achieve more.  

2.  Find the platform that gives you the time you need

3.  Plan, plan, plan

4.  Work smart

5.  Push yourself, but don’t overjuggle

6.  Team up, delegate, outsource, don’t try to do it all yourself

7.  Work smart

8.  Don’t be bound by what others tell you is or isn’t possible

9.  Eleven tips for broaching difficult subjects by Gretchen Rubin at The Happiness Project.

10.  Using waiting time productively–10 ways to save 10 minutes daily by Marc and Angel Hack Life.

Complete Guide to Pilates, Yoga, Meditation Stress Relief

Parragon Publishing

ISBN 1-4542-216-5

The first excerpt for today’s post is from the Complete Guide and is about deep breathing which is the primary emotional technique to gain control of your emotions.

“Yogic breathing, or pranayama, revitalizes the entire body, balances the emotions, and promotes clarity of mind. All the breathing exercises described here are performed sitting down, keeping the spine, neck, and head in a straight line. This will facilitate the flow of prana and create the space for the lungs to expand more fully.”

1) “Sit cross-legged (sitting on a cushion relieves tension in the lower back and knees). Place one hand on the rib cage, the other on the abdomen. Keep your back straight and shoulders relaxed.

2) Make sure that you breathe through your nose with your mouth closed. Inhale slowly, feeling the abdomen expanding first, then the rib cage, and finally feel the air filling the entire chest area.

3) As you exhale, the air will lave the lower lungs first, then the rib cage, and lastly the chest. Check that you fill your entire lungs with air and that your breathing is slow, rhythmic, and deep.”

Stress Control for Peace of Mind

Linda Wasmer Andrews

ISBN 0-7607-6468-9

Stress Control has two breathing exercises that you may use.

“Side-to-side breathing:

1) Sit in a comfortable position. Fold the pointer and middle fingers of your right hand into your palm. Inhale deeply.

2) Press your thumb against the right side of your nose, closing off your right nostril. First exhale and then inhale slowly through your left nostril.

3) Release your thumb, and press your ring and pinkie against the left side of your nose, closing off your left nostril. First exhale and then inhale slowly through your right nostril.

4) Repeat steps 2 through 3 several times as you focus on the breath going in and out.”

“Spine-tingling breathing:

1) Sit in a comfortable position. Close your eyes, and bring your attention to the base of your spine.

2) Inhale slowly and deeply. As you do, draw your awareness up your spinal cord-up your back, then up your neck, and finally to your brain.

3) Inhale slowly. As you do, draw your awareness back down your spinal cord to the base of your spine.

4) Repeat Steps 2 through 3 several times.”

1. Use creative visualization (also called guided imagery)-your imagination is a powerful stress management tool. Changemaker will be including samples of guided imagery to get you started on using this valuable technique of visually creating the outcome you want in challenges.
2. Be continually aware of the outer world of nature and what I call the “little creatures” such as birds, frogs, butterflies, squirrels, etc.
3. Become aware of negative self-talk.
4. Include relaxation techniques; such as, autogenics, progressive body relaxation, deep breathing, or meditation techniques.
5. Be sure to get enough rest and exercise.
6. Accept those things you can’t change or move away from them emotionally.
7. Be honest and express your feelings when appropriate.

At some periods in our lives, we tend to experience more stress than at other times. During these periods of change:

1. Learn to “gentle yourself” through these days.
2. Gauge your reactions to future events by asking yourself how you feel about this and listen to your feelings. Feelings aren’t right or wrong, good or bad, but are appropriate or inappropriate. So let your feelings be.
3. Many times we use our energy to try to change or stop what change is coming. Learn to “read” the change that is coming and make early decisions about which part of the change you can accept.
4. Bless what there is for being and let go of the rest.
5. The “blame and shame” game is a total waste of time and energy. The way to evaluate this is to ask if finding the “culprit” solves the problem. Generally, the answer is no, as the rug still needs cleaned, the door is still locked, the work is undone. Ask yourself if you’d rather be right or be happy.

We each have a soul that needs to be directed toward goodness and away from negativity and sin in order to find peace and joy during our earthly life. We don’t have to die to find Heaven on earth. U2 with Bono have lyrics that reflect Bono’s deep spiritual concerns and active humanitarian concerns. A group of young people in Great Britian have organized a church around those lyrics. He continues to speak out about the corruption of African nations in diverting the world’s donations to the African AIDS and extreme poverty.

Singer Songwriter Kem (Kem Owens) writes songs because he wants to get his message to everyone including the people who may not go to church. He says: “All of my success and every good thing that happens in my life are due to God’s grace.” Much positive energy often happens at rock concerts. An example of this is on Russell Hawkins’s blog “The Original Mud Puppy”. He was positively influenced by a group called Third Day.

As Russell writes, “Third Day and their music and their inspiring lyrics were the catalyst to pushing my life off the sidelines and into the game.” My favorite music is from the 1970′s Motown musicians. So many songs from that era reflect that many of the singers grew up in gospel singing. I do my morning walking to Motown greats (Diana Ross and Marvin Gaye as well as others); the Eagles; Basia; Earth, Wind, and Fire; Abba; Norah Jones; and Sergio Mendez (Brasil ’66). Believe me they all can perk up the saddest day and turn it around to a praiseful celebration. Yes, I love my IPOD shuffle.

Dr. George Boeree has a great explanation of neurotransmitters here.

Believers of the mind-body connections believe that our emotions/thoughts directly influence our physical health. I have studied all that I could about this connection and have incorporated it into my life. I have few health problems to deal with and I am rarely sick. I don’t believe that I can reject or control illness. I am prudent in my life choices; eat fruits, and vegetables with some protein; exercise regularly; check my negative or obsessive thinking, and follow a daily meditation period.

Dr. Pert is also the author of Your Body is Your Subconscious Mind. The mind-body connection (also known as psychoneuroimmunology ) has gained much leverage in the past 20 years. Some of the other pioneers in this field of study are Larry Dossey, Bernie Siegal, John Sarno, Brian Luke Seaward (my favorite), Louise
Hay, Joan Borysenko, Wayne Dyer, Dr. Andrew Weil, Ram Dass, and many others.

The author of the relaxation response is Dr. Herbert Benson. He writes about his experiences at the Mind/Body Medical Institute (MBMI) with treating patients using his relaxation response techniques, nutrition, exercise and reframing of negative thinking patterns.

I mention all the above because I am filled with new energy on the days I do my interval training at the gym. I also read some energy tips from The 10-Minute Energy Solution by Jon Gordon. His secrets for more energy: (1) more water, (2) 10 minutes of silence everyday (I require more, I suppose because I am in the meditation habit), (3) exercise (you knew it would be there), and real food (not processed food). Also every one needs to get enough sleep every night. If you are running on empty, rest as soon as you can.

I suggest that anyone who has too little time to get the proper rest, to do a time-study of a typical day. Can you cut out some email, some conversation time, some TV time, some of the home chores? One way for blessed energy inflow that I see few women utilizing is getting the home cleaned by someone else. Working outside the home with a family is double duty for most mothers. Doing the home chores is the 3^rd job that can be hired. Then the time at home can be enjoyed by all family members.