What is Emotional Sobriety?
Bill Wilson, cofounder of Alcoholics Anonymous, mentioned emotional sobriety in a letter he wrote in 1958. He wrote: “I think that many oldsters who have put our AA “booze cure” to severe but successful tests still find they often lack emotional sobriety. Perhaps they will be the spearhead for the next major development in AA, the development of much more real maturity and balance (which is to say, humility) in our relations with ourselves, with our fellows, and with God.”
The book I believe helps us to find this emotional sobriety is the Adult Children of Alcoholics (ACA) Red Book. ACA/ACOA was started by The Laundry List written by Tony A. in 1978 in New York City. The Laundry List is a list of 14 traits commonly found in children who grow up in turbulent, hostile, and sometimes violent homes. Often times these homes have adults who are using drugs, alcohol, food, religion, power, money, control etc. as ways to control and manage the people in the household.
As well as a blog titled, Emotional Sobriety, I also have a Facebook Fan Page titled Emotional Sobriety. On the Facebook Fan Page, I am retyping the Red Book and posting a paragraph per day. I scanned my copy and then retype from the scanned pages. I am doing this as a service so that others can read the powerful healing from the ACA Red Book.
A great link about emotional sobriety:
From Rochelle Foulk : “Emotional Sobriety Quiz”
“When what I know to be true about myself and what I believe and feel are coinciding, in other words the facts match my beliefs and feelings.
example: I say that my partner is a valuable person in my life, my actions prove this true. What people say affect me but do not determine what I believe and feel about myself.
Emotional Inebriety or unsoberness:
When what I believe and feel about myself are not consistent with the facts. Imput of others determine who I am and what I feel. Depending on others to tell me how to feel about me”
Emotional Sobriety Quiz
Answer these questions either a yes or no:
Do you accept criticism well?
Are you usually hurt or angered by criticism?
Do others think more highly of you than of you do of yourself
Do you have a difficult time accepting compliments?
Do you depend on others to feel good about yourself?
Do what people say unduly influence feelings or beliefs you have about yourself?
Do you often do a good job and know it and don’t feel good about it?
Do you often put yourself down?
Looking at your life honestly, do you treat yourself well?
Do you treat others better than you treat yourself?
Do you often feel like a loser even though you know you are good person?
Answering yes to one or more of these questions, there is a degree of emotional inebriety present.
Quiz and definitions as outlined by an AA speaker, Tom B. Jr. Click here to download
Any AA speaker tapes download for free, click here.