Road of Self-Discovery

“Often people attempt to live their lives backwards; they try to have more things or more money, in order to do more of what they want, so they will be happier. The way it actually works is the reverse. You must first be who you really are, then do what you need to do, in order to have what you want.”           Margaret Young

On your road to self-discovery, remember to look for guidance among persons that are on their individual path of growth. If anyone wants to tell you who to be, that person is not growing but is trying to avoid growth by “changing” you. Some people call this codependency.

Yet we all are probably codependent at one time or another. It is the nature of love to sometimes be giving more than we are receiving from another. But the codependent uses concern to gain power over others in the classic position of “top-dog”. Shared power is the only ingredient in relationships that determines how healthy the union is.

When You Find the Buddha in the Middle of the Road–Kill Him is the wise title of a good book by Sidney Kopp. No one knows what is better for anyone but that person. We each have our own answers. Even those trained in counseling techniques can only see what is revealed. Tendencies may be seen and certainly personality indicators will be there. But the work of change is a person’s individual choice.