I have 50+ books selected for my Changemaker Library. I will also be doing books I like from time to time. This is one of them.
So, You Want to Be Like Christ? Eight Essentials to Get You There.
Charles R. Swindoll
ISBN 0-8499-1731-X
I have been reading Charles Swindoll for 30 years now and he never disappoints me. As he writes in his introduction: “So, you want to be like Christ? Me, too. But that kind of godliness won’t happen by hanging around a church or thinking lofty thoughts three or four times a day or learning a few verses of Scripture. It will take more–much more. Disciplining ourselves will require the same kind of focused thinking and living that our Master modeled during His brief life on earth.”
Rev. Swindoll defines the eight essentials we need to practice as:
- Intimacy: Deepening Ours Lives
- Simplicity: Uncluttering Our Minds
- Silence and Solitude: Slowing Our Pace
- Surrender: Releasing Our Grip
- Prayer: Calling Out
- Humility: Bowing Low
- Self-Control: Holding Back
- Sacrifice: Giving Over
As he states: “Notice that the first four disciplines have to do with getting rid of something, creating room in your life. The next four contribute vitality and authenticity to your spiritual life….Of course there are many other disciplines we could consider. And we could credibly argue for a shorter or longer list. I don’t claim to have the definitive path to intimacy with the Almighty. But I can say that after forty years of ministry, having prescribed these to others and having applied them to my own life, these eight disciplines fall into the category of essentials. Cultivate these disciplines, and your relationship with the Lord will flourish. More significantly, these will become paths that will lead you to becoming more like Christ.”
He has included several poems and/or quotations that are old and familiar to me.
For Simplicity: Uncluttering Our Minds:
“One ship drives east and another drives west
With the selfsame winds that blow.
Tis the set of the sails
And not the gales
Which tells us the way to go.
Like the winds of the sea are the ways of fate,
As we voyage along through life:
“Tis the set of a soul
That decides its goal.
And not the calm or the strife.” Ella Wheeler Wilcox
For Silence and Solitude: Slowing Our Pace
“May not the inadequacy of much of our spiritual experience be traced back to our habit of skipping through the corridors of the Kingdom like children in the market place, chattering about everything, but pausing to learn the value of nothing.” A.W. Tozer
For Surrender: Releasing Our Grip
“When grace changes the heart, submission out of fear changes to submission out of love, and true humility is born” William Hendriksen
From Sacrifice Giving Over:
In this chapter, Rev. Swindoll writes a very personal account of his coming to the Lord while he was miserable in the Marine Corps in 1958. He read a book his brother had given him that night of 5 missionaries who had died while spreading the Word to the Aucas tribe. One of the missionaries’s wife, Jim Elliott, wrote the book, Through Gates of Splendor, after Jim’s death. The quotation for this chapter on sacrifice is from Jim Elliott: “He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose.”
The sacrifices suggested are: to become a living, breathing sacrifice–personal sacrifice, relational sacrifice, and financial sacrifice.
Tags: Christ, humility, intimacy, Prayer, simplicity, surrender
Retreats are great opportunities to learn better how to communicate with the God of your understanding. As a young person attending church camps, I always loved the early morning ritual of going into the woods alone with my Bible. I was connecting with nature as well as with my God. Buddhists have many retrests worldwide as it is a part of their spiritual life to gather together in spiritual retreat. I have collected the following retreats with the description included on each website.
1. Spirit Rock In the San Francisco area, Spirit Rock (http://www.spiritrock.org/) publlishes the complete schedule of all of its resources. Transportation is provided to the site from volunteer drivers if a worshiper needs transportation. One of the founders of Spirit Rock, Jack Kornfield, explains what mindfulness means to him in this article. Continuing education credits for trained professionals is offered a t Spirit Rock in collaboration with ISP, Institute for Spirituality and Psychology. Spirit Rock offers residental retreats, daylong programs, beginning classes, weekly classes, a diversity progam, a family program, a teen program, and a mindulness yoga and meditation training program.
2.Shambhala Mountain Center is a pristine 600 acre meditation retreat center located . The center offers beginning meditation, a yoga retreat, contempative arts as well as retreat and renewal weekends. The 2007/08 schedule is available online and includes sections in Buddhism, meditation, yoga and retreat. The schedule offers: (1) tame your mind, learn to meditate through the introductory course or the Shambhala trasining series; (2) stretch your body and mind at one of the yoga retreats experiencing OM, Ashtanga, Hatha and Anusara yoga; (3) delve into Buddhist teachings with highly regarded dharma teachers; (4) deepen your practice and transform your life in monthlong summer or winter Dathun Meditation Retreats; (5) access the healing potential of body, mind, and community, (6) explore th powerful practices of ancient traditions ; and (7) demystify and prepare yourself for the untimate letting go. The Shambhala Retreat also offers conference and group retreats and rentals. It is located two hours from the Denver International Airport in the colorado Rockies.
3. Journey of the Spirit lists spiritual retreats, journeys and women’s retreats. It provides the following links:
Sedona: Finding the Mystic Within
The Southwest: Sacred Pilgrimage to Mesa Verde, Canyon De Chelly & Chaco Canyon
Tepoztlán: Sacred Valley of Magic and Mysticism
Teotihuacán: “The Place Where Man Becomes God”
Teotihuacán: “The Place Where Man Becomes God” – A Photography Workshop
Oaxaca: Becoming the Supreme Artist of Your Life
Palenque: Explore the Mayan People, Ruins & Jungles
The Mayan Yucatán: Explore the Hidden Ruins of Mexico & Belize
Bimini: A Women’s Retreat & Wild Dolphin Encounter
Isla Espiritu Santo, Baja Mexico: Obtaining Clarity – A Women’s Retreat
Santorini, Greece: Expressing the Divine Goddess – A Women’s Retreat
Maya Tulum: A Journey For Goddesses!
South Dakota: A Women’s Healing Circle & Retreat
British Columbia, A Heli-Hiking Spiritual Retreat: Inner Peace, Silence & Sanctuary
Peru & Machu Picchu Sacred Sites: Merging with the Divine
Guatemala: Mystery & Magic – Tikal, Antigua & Lake Atitlan
Bhutan: A Journey of the Heart & Soul
Vietnam & Angkor Wat, Cambodia: Divine Splendor and Compassion
Busting Loose: Free from Limiting Beliefs! Personal Challenge & Ropes Course Retreat Weekend, Georgi
4. Find the Divine has over 1700 retreat center and 900 conference centers. It organizes the resources as: (1) retreat centers for individuals and groups; (2) conference centers and retreat centers for groups; (3) retreats, events and workshops; (4) retreat leaders and spiritual guides; (5) retreat and confrtrncr centerds for sale; and retreat general information.
It has links for the following states/countries:
Alabama
Alaska
Arizona
Arkansas
California
Colorado
Connecticut
Delaware
Florida
Georgia
Hawaii
Idaho
Illinois
Indiana
Iowa
Kansas
Kentucky
Louisiana
Maine
Maryland
Massachusetts
Michigan
Minnesota
Mississippi
Missouri
Montana
Nebraska
Nevada
New Hampshire
New Mexico
New Jersey
New York
North Carolina
North Dakota
Ohio
Oklahoma
Oregon
Pennsylvania
Rhode Island
South Carolina
South Dakota
Tennessee
Texas
Utah
Vermont
Virginia
Washington
Washington DC
West Virginia
Wyoming
Wisconsin
Retreat Centers in Canada
Retreat Centers in Costa Rica
Retreat Centers in Belize
Retreat Centers in Mexico
Email me at changemaker.kathy@gmail.com if you would like other retreats to be reviewed.
Adult Children of Alcoholics
Janet Geringer Woititz
ISBN 1-55874-112-7
Janet Woititz wrote her dissertation for her doctorate in the middle 1970s about “Self-Esteem in Children of Alcoholics”. She started the first 12-step program for those of any age who had grown up in a dysfunctional home. This group was called ACOA-Adult children of Alcoholics. The book about ACOA, Adult Children of Alcoholics, was first published in 1983 and sold only by mail order. Book stores only carried after the public demand was high. By 1987 the book was on the New York Times bestsellers list.
The basic principles about ACOA people are the following:
1) Adult children of alcoholics guess at what normal behavior is.
2) Adult children of alcoholics have difficulty following a project through from beginning to end.
3) Adult children of alcoholics lie when it would be just as easy to tell the truth.
4) Adult children of alcoholics judge themselves without mercy.
5) Adult children of alcoholics have difficulty having fun.
6) Adult children of alcoholics take themselves very seriously.
7) Adult children of alcoholics have difficulty with intimate relationships.
Adult children of alcoholics over-react to changes over which they have no control
9) Adult children of alcoholics constantly seek approval and affirmation.
10) Adult children of alcoholics usually feel that they are different from other people.
11) Adult children of alcoholics are super responsible or super irresponsible.
12) Adult children of alcoholics are extremely loyal, even in the face of evidence that the loyalty is undeserved.
13) Adult children of alcoholics are impulsive. They tend to lock themselves into a course of action without giving serious consideration to alternative behaviors or possible consequences. This impulsivity leads to confusion, self-loathing and loss of control over their environment. In addition, they spend an excessive amount of energy cleaning up the mess.

Diamonds by Wolfgang Staudt
One of the first aspects toward taking control of your life has to be learning how to use your mind for thought control instead of allowing your mind to control your thoughts. I know when I first read about this over thirty years ago, I was mystified about taking control of my mind. I mean I thought I did control my thoughts. As I’ve written before, transactional analysis helped me the most to find my inner personas. Once you learn to recognize parent, adult and child thinking, you will be on your way to learning how to be your observer self.
Some other links I believe will help you to retrain your brain are:
Can You Really Retrain your Brain to Think Differently?
Can You Become a Creature of New Habits?
I call the part of my mind that keeps a watchful eye over my mental choices my “observer self” because I have learned how to “set back mentally” and learn what thoughts I am allowing to control me. What thoughts am I allowing to dominate my consciousness?
The learning of what we are choosing to think about takes some practice, but you are really not in control of your life until you do it. It is only after becoming aware the direction of our thoughts that we can learn to stop negative thoughts. Many people believe that they have no control over their own minds. They think this because they haven’t found their observer self.
It may be easier to think of this as getting control of your subconscious mind or learning to listen to the “little voice inside your head”.
Some posts to help you with this mental learning are:
(1) How to Control Your Subconscious Mind
(2) Learn to Take Control of Your Mind











